Saturday, April 30, 2011

I will never leave you nor forsake you

As I sat in church today, someone petitioned God to be with one of our youth who was baptized today. It got me wondering...

Why do we pray like we don't really believe the promise God has given us? Deuteronomy 31:6 promises that God will go before us, that He will never leave me or forsake me. Yet, the prayer is Please God, don't leave me. This promise was given to ALL. Not to a select few, but to everyone!

My prayer today is not that God will be with you. That is as sure as the sun rising tomorrow. Whether there are clouds in the way, or an eclipse or a storm so severe that it darkens the sky, I know that the sun will be there. It is the same with Christ! It doesn't matter the storms, clouds or moon that block our view of Christ, I know that He is there beside me. Leading the way, carrying me over the roughest patches. ALWAYS with me.

My prayer is that you will recognize God's light. That you will remember it is there despite the things that block it from our view. My prayer is that I will hold onto the knowledge that Christ is beside me always. My prayer is that we, you and I, will always follow God's voice and plan for our lives. That we will forever walk in the Word and Testimony of Jesus.

See, when we hear God calling us, we step out into faith. I did that when I left M. I KNOW that I obeyed God's will for me. He made it very clear, but then I allowed the comments, opinions and ideas of others to cause me to doubt whether I was truly following God's will. I allowed the words of others to supersede the Will and Words of God in my heart. Thus I became riddled with fear and anxiety.

I praise God that He has continued to walk with me. He has not left me, forsaken me or abandoned me during my moments of doubt and fear, instead He continued to remind me of His will, to encourage me to stand up and keep moving forward on His path. I praise God that during the recent Alberta Women's Retreat, He opened my eyes to what I had chosen to do. To what the enemy had deceived me into doing. No longer will I cower in fear. No longer will I allow the voices of others to cover up the Word of God in my life.

How about you? Do you recognize the presence of God in your life even when the clouds and eclipses block the light?

I am realizing and remembering that I have walked the right path, the path God has called me to. I will keep dancing down it, safe in the presence and arms of God! 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Missing my friend....

It's so hard to believe. For 2 weeks, I've been playing telephone tag with Millie. Never able to catch her at the right time, wanting to catch up with her and see how things were going. Today, it's too late. This morning, Millie didn't wake up, she was gone. I won't find out why she didn't make it to the Women's Retreat, I won't hear her laugh about her grand-daughters antics, I'll never see the flower in her hair on Sabbath morning. And that's me. How can her husband be feeling? Her children? Her grandchild?

I grieve for her family today. Their loss is astounding. Today they can't imagine how life will go on, but it will. One day will follow another until they realize a whole month, then a season, then a year has gone by and they are still getting through it. They will get through it. I just wish they could escape the pain that is their's to come in the days and months ahead. I want to take them in my arms and shield them. I can't. God can and He will, yet they still have this pain to get through, to survive.

Millie is at peace. She's resting. She no longer knows pain or sorrow, no more sadness or tears, no more worries about money or health or family.... The rest of us do. We must continue to consider these things.

In a way I envy Millie. Tomorrow morning, when she wakes up, it will be to the beautiful, glorious sight of our returning Saviour. I get to meet her again there. We selfishly want her here. She's needed here. She's loved here. She will be greatly missed here.

I'm gonna dance with her in heaven though.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I've been sick lately with the vilest flu I can ever recall having. Finally, after 4 days, I went to the doctor who sent me for a prescription. Even though I was seriously lacking energy, I took the opportunity to wander the store in search of some much needed groceries for our family. I was grateful for the gravol keeping me on my feet without... well... you can imagine, but I was exceedingly drained and ready just to crawl into bed. The Safeway staff were wonderful and amazing with me, I felt noticed by and important to them as they went out of their way to try to make my day easier. As I waited for the checkout cashier to give me the number for my parcel pick up, I looked up at the lady in line behind me to apologize for delaying her. As I did so, I really looked at her and she just took my breath away. She was so gorgeous! I made a point of telling her so and the smile that spread across her face just made my day.

One of my favourite books is "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. One of the points that they make is that every woman longs to be seen as a beauty. This is a longing that begins in childhood and continues all through our lives, it never ends. It is a deep seated need in a woman to be desired, to be seen, to be seen as beautiful. When I told this lady how gorgeous I saw her, I saw in her that need sated for a moment. That smile transcend anything else that might have been happening in her day.

I want to challenge you as you go into your day to really look at people. To notice them. Compliment them where possible, make their day easier when you can. It made a difference to me, I'm sure it made a difference to the lady in line behind me and I know you can make a difference in someone else's day also!

Go out and dance with someone else today!

Monday, April 11, 2011

As I think about my story, my family's story... I am coming to realize that as powerful as the story of my sister's life is, it is not her story. I think that's why I've had difficulty writing it down. I've been trying to write it through her eyes, but I can't. For in reality, I do not own her story. The story I own is my own. I can only share her story as I see it through my eyes, as I have experienced it in my life. It changes the story.

As I watch TV and movies, I can see my story in so many ways. In fact, I can greatly see how my story could make a powerful story. Am I capable of writing it so that it captures attention? By the grace of God.... I can only try. If I hold back because I am afraid of not doing it justice, I accomplish nothing. So. I must step out.

Funny, that is the message God keeps giving me. Just step out and do it... Plan the concert program. Write the words to present. Work on the book. Work on the work. I can only be successful if I take action. One of my friends posted that if it's not written down, it's just a dream and then shared the SMART way of goal setting & success.

1. Specific - know exactly what your goal is
2. Measurable - know when you achieved the goal
3. Achievable - be just a little uncomfortable with it
4. Relevant - has to relate to your big picture
5. Time based - be specific about when you will reach the goal

1. My goal is to share my testimony through song and word. To educate and help free women.
2. I will have achieved the goal when I have venues booked
3. I'm definitely uncomfortable with it, but very excited!
4. The big picture is to share the message God gave me. It is wasted if not shared.
5. In 1 year I want to be travelling. By March 1, 2012 or sooner.

It's written down. I'm going to make it happen. There are many things to accomplish, but this is the most important. Praise God He will give me the words and the songs and open the doors. I just need to step out and be ready for His calling!

Let's dance... it's going to be a fun road to success in His eyes!

Thursday, April 7, 2011


A post on Facebook regarding the 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide (hence the referral to him later in this post) has triggered my thoughts, and I felt compelled to share them here as well. 

When it comes to suicide and suicidal thoughts, I am not always the most sympathetic person. It causes SO MUCH pain for those that are left behind, I can get quite angry with someone who is suicidal, especially if they already know my story and try to threaten me with their suicidal thoughts. Of course, that's a totally different topic. But if someone shares with me that they feel suicidal, I share with them my story. First of all, that my step-dad committed suicide to escape jail. He wasn't well liked by pretty much anyone at that point and still his death inflicted a great amount of pain. We may have been angry with him, hurt by him, yet we loved him and despite the circumstances, were devastated by his choice. He was a coward. His death was brought about by cowardice and fear. The realization that someone who could cause as much pain as he did in life could also cause so much anguish in death was an eye opener because I realized I had many more people who loved me than he did and I saw how much pain it would cause should I choose that path.

Secondly, my brothers suicide was different. He was truly at the bottom of the pit. He had tied the knot so many times and clung to it and it got frayed. To me, my brother is a casualty of the spiritual war that we all battle every day. There was no one at fault in his death except Satan who choose to attack him with everything he had that fateful day. He was sick, he was alone, he was losing his dreams.... Sadly, the next day he got the job of his dreams, his girlfriend had NOT dumped him as he believed... One more day would have made a world of difference to him. Satan knew that and attacked while he was weak. Further, his father's choice of death opened that door to him. There was fear that he would be like his father, there was fear he was unloved. He knew his sisters loved him. I'll never truly know (this side of heaven) why he made the choice he did, but I'm certainly glad that God knows and that God was with him when he died.

This is not to justify or to romanticize suicide by any means. It means that there are many reasons, many paths to that choice. I realize this is not an article about suicide in general, but rather an article about Kurt Cobain. I didn't know the man. I didn't know his music. What I do know is that anytime we discuss someone who has committed suicide we must be careful to be free of judgment, free of condemnation. Kurt Cobain's life does not appear to be lived in Godly standards. He chose poorly, he got trapped by Satan. Let us never forget who the true enemy is. Let us never forget that Satan uses confusion, angst, depression and any other trap he can get his hands on to entangle us up with him. Was Kurt Cobain an example of a Christian life? I doubt it. Was his death an example to us? Yes, because we can look at the pain and the angst that influenced him to make that decision, we can look at the pain and suffering that his decision caused others.

Don't let Satan win the battle for your life by taking it yourself. Make him fight for it with everything you have, recognize that is is he who wants you dead, and turn to God for your true life!! 

May you dance into freedom!