September 11

I had trouble getting into my blog yesterday, so this is late but still appropriate.

I saw many posts on "where you were when the towers fell" yesterday, someone likened it to our parents generation of "where you were when Kennedy was assassinated". It is along the same lines. It is a day we all remember with shock and disbelief.

I had just arrived at work and they had the news on the computers... at first I thought it was some prank, that someone had photo-shopped a video of the towers on fire. It took some time (probably seconds but felt like minutes) before I realized it was actually happening. It was surreal. I didn't react to it right away, later it hit me. The office closed down as we worked in the securities building in Winnipeg and fear was running rampant, we didn't know if we were targeted as well.

How could someone decide that it was okay to murder over 3,000 people in one day? How could people think that was an appropriate thing to do? What makes a terrorist go on a suicidal mission, does he/she think of the people who they are targeting? All philosophical questions that will remain unanswered, possibly for eternity. It is hard to fathom being the tool that accomplishes such horror.

On the other hand, there are minute by minute decisions that we make every day that affect others, sometimes to their hurt and despair. Some of the people hurt by that are destroyed so completely they can never be whole again, outside the grace of God.

There was good news yesterday too. A little 3 year old, taken from his home and kept for 4 days was returned to his home in the same manner in which he was taken. Startling, strange and terrifying. I don't want to even try to imagine the pain and fear his parents experienced while he was missing, the desire to never let him out of their sights again now that he is home. Praise God it had a happy ending. What of the little boy though? How will this affect him as he is growing up? How has he been damaged? Even if all that happened is that he was taken for 4 days, well cared for and returned.... He has still been harmed, his security, his safety have been pierced.

I have hurt people too. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes when lashing out in anger or fear, sometimes intentionally because it can't be avoided, sometimes intentionally because I make a wrong decision.

Does saying sorry help? I believe it does, because it offers to the other person the opportunity to give Grace and Forgiveness. It reminds them that such gifts are possible to give. It also helps me because I need to do all that I can to heal the relationship, wherever and so far as it is possible.

Some relationships aren't worth healing to the point of reconciliation, but all relationships are worth healing with forgiveness, even if the relationship must remain closed and buried.

God bless you as you dance to forgiveness and healing. It is your heart that is healed, whether you offer forgiveness or offer an apology.